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Confessions of a Caf-fiend

Coffee: I need it. That is to say my diet requires that I consume a significant amount of vitamin C(affeine). Without it, I devolve into some sort of shambling zombie calling out a mournful, "jaaaaavaaaa!" I am why they call it a "cup o' Joe."

Several have tried to save me. Parents have glanced with slightly sad eyes as I palmed a two liter in the summer. My girlfriend, bless her, has forcefully removed energy drinks from my hands as I desperately tried to steal that last sip. Even Annie Fasanella, who knows a thing or two about coping with little to no energy, has tried to steer me away from the excessive cups of coffee by suggesting concoctions that sound perhaps nurturing, but lack that something special. That something, of course, is caffeine.

I mean it isn't that caffeine, sweet wonderful caffeine, has some sort of addictive quality. I could quit anytime I want. But then what would the Westport Library do without my daily contributions through the As You Like It cafe? I must drink if not for myself, then for the library.

Of course truly addictive behavior is a spiraling process, where more and more is needed until something in the escalating system breaks or collapses. Sometimes that is a much needed moment of clarity, sometimes it is something more detrimental. When road hypnosis took control of my brain back on Memorial Day and I spun out on a highway off-ramp and right into a guardrail, it surely wasn't because massive amounts of coffee over the weekend had let me temporarily ignore the fact that I was running myself into exhaustion. No, no, we can't blame the coffee.

Fasanella, my girlfriend, and my family are all right: moderation would do me some good. More importantly, learning to slow down and take care of myself would serve me even better. Can I learn to ignore the siren song of my Tassimo? Would life on just a single morning cup of coffee be bearable? Perhaps, perhaps not. Until someone figures out a way to bypass caffeine withdrawal headaches, I'm not taking my chances. I really hate headaches.

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